21

In places no one will find,
All your feelings go deep inside. 
It was there when I realized, 
That forever was in your eyes.
The moment I saw you cry. 

Alrite, my 21st had no bangs, whizzes, booms or alcohol (haha) but I liked it all the same :) It might have been a touch dull, but heck, work left me no mind space to plan..or to be bothered too ;p

Yesss, I got my "wish" to work again in F&B. Always, always be careful what you wish for. I made a hasty decision to work in Lavender teeheehee. Sometimes I'd knock myself on the head for agreeing to take the job, but I'd think back and it was what I wanted at that time. Oh well. It was, somewhat, in a way. Bwahahaha.

After cancelled dinner plans (one thing I dislike my birthday being in Dec, especially at the end. People no around wan. Sien dao). he suggested takei plans and I jumped as much as my hurt feet let me :D Two Tats, CY and I went to Blitz bwahahaha. It's been sooooo longggg sinceeeee.

Came back and he gave me his three surprises :) Another night came another box, and Zhi's gift too :) Sure beats getting hungover ;p Considering circumstances, I wasn't much in the mood to have a big celebration either. Another year has passed, and more PKs have widened their distance, so I didn't expect much anyway. I'm still hunting for a watch for my biggest 21st present, wonder where else if left to look at..

So hmm, my 20th year.. I survived two more uni semesters, both which stretched my endurance capabilities to its very length. The first I did regret for not doing my absolute best, but the 2nd one I did what I could do, and accepted the results. My absolute best.

Most of 2011 revolved around uni and work. I got by on a day-by-day basis. Money was tight, stretching out whatever I made the previous month for my expenses. It was hard saying no to outings, but I made it :) The few social exceptions I had were girly meet-ups, the rare PK meeting and yeaaaaah teh BEAST concert woot woot. Probably the most thrifty year :p

And..there was you :) Dec marks 4 and 7 hehe. It was a pretty good journey, with its occasional bumps and holes along the way. Discovered places and food in PJ and KL. Always going back to our tried-and-tested fav places when finances allow.

You were a pretty good friend, even more so as a boyfriend :) I like that we can come to a compromise or agree to disagree. Last NYE we spent it messaging across town, this year we'll spend it together :)

So as of this time, I resigned from F&B and resigned myself to another retail job. One that has regular hours, won't bore my socks off me and not overly hectic either. With a reasonable wage per hour too. Possible? I think so. Just gotta keep looking, again :p

#Capricorn

A #Capricorn may be shy and reserved at first but once comfortable all bets are off.
No doubt :P

#Capricorn doesn't follow trends, we do our own thing.
Oh yes.

#Capricorns are usually very accepting of others & will try to give you the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
I try lah.

#Capricorn give yourself a little leeway & stop worrying.
#Capricorn give yourself a little leeway & stop worrying. 
#Capricorn give yourself a little leeway & stop worrying. 

#Capricorn hates being controlled & will run for the nearest exit if you smother us.
Run for the hills and never look baaaaaaaack.

It may take a #Capricorn forever to make up our mind, but once its made up it's final & there will be no back tracking.
Dahahaha

#Capricorns are normally extremely quiet & shy unless comfortable around you.
Then I say the weirdest things. Wait ah.

A wounded #Capricorn's words will cut you like a knife.
Sometimes I think I rather let the knife do the talking.

#Capricorn will never be comfortable in second place!
Ego aaaahhhh.

#Capricorn doesn't live in fantasy land.
We haz no Avatar.

#Capricorn believes what we see not what we hear.
Can't run the world on hearsay tralalala.

#Capricorn is a very complex sign & will take time & patience to understand.
Think you can wait?

#Capricorns are not the type of people who can let go fully until we understand our surroundings. 
Control freaks ma.

#Capricorn often prefers our own company over others.
I like to hear myself think.

#Capricorns are very insensitive to people who don't try to help themselves.
Only to kick your arses.

#Capricorn hates dishonesty in all forms.
Turn you inside out ah.

A #Capricorn female doesn't need your expensive gifts, just small gestures of your love will make our heart melt.
The way to my heart is...*drumrolls*

#Capricorns are cautious about committing to someone but when we do it's forever.
After all that waiting, analyzing, scrutinizing, overthinking, it would be a waste kan..

#Capricorns love simplicity.
My friend once asked what I wanted for my birthday. I told her books. She didn't believe me.

#Capricorn doesn't like putting our problems on other, & instead we tend to suffer in silence. 
Tralalala

#Capricorn may be very serious & shy one moment but equally as funny & outgoing at another.
Masters of Moodswings Inc.

#Capricorn believes everything has to be earned & that nothing is free.
Ya what, even hospitals charge you for oxygen.

There is never a dull moment when a #Capricorn is in a playful mood.
Poor boyf :P

#Capricorn likes to work quietly & effectively without creating too much bother or attention to ourselves.
My work will speak for itself, if successful. 

#Capricorns are best at setting and achieving long term goals rather than short ones.
What's next what's next what's next???

#Capricorns are the masters of the "silent treatment".
Die, you.

#Capricorn doesn't need recognition from others, self gratification is all we need.
Inner happiness.

Outwardly #Capricorn is not the approachable type, only the brave will be able to break down our walls. 
Dare youuuuuu?

#Capricorn loves intellect & heart to heart connections.
I love banter; you never know what you may end up with.

#Capricorns are mentally strong & can handle tough situations like a pro.
Humph. It's all the overthinking. 

Let this love begin, this tangled up emotion

Da da dah dah da~

Almost a year ago, still works the same, I hope it doesn't change :)

Cover Girl

I don't want to face any kind of beautiful separations
Someday we will grow apart, we won't see each other again
It's too short of a love journey to say this
Passing over the countless doorways that say "love is pain" in the open streets
Going by myself is not the solution
The awkwardly held hand is you

You are so pretty- you really shine
Each moment, you are my cover girl
You smile whenever you see me, even when you're mad, you smile
How can I say I don't like you?

I only need one, I only need one
You know it, it's obvious
Completely trust me, just trust me
Then I am yours, for always

Pretend that I never been sick
Pretend that I don't regret after I love
There's no need to be hurt by thinking
Just you and me- just us two is enough
Is your head still calculating?
Are you still confused on what the answer is?
It's simple- I can never let you go
The answer is that we can't go on if it's not us together

If you let your eyes wander, you know what will happen
If you have other feelings, you know what will happen
Then I don't know what I will do either
As much as you love, as much as you receive love
The scars are bigger as well

This is it- it's not that hard
If our hearts for each other are beating
If I call your name with my voice, it starts

You are my angel, my only cover girl
(My cover girl, I will have you)
I shout louder, you are mine (I can be loud)
My burning heart has focused on you
My eyes will only hold you (in my heart, there's only you)

I only need one, I only need one
You know it, it's obvious
Completely trust me, just trust me
Then I am yours, for always

*click*

I clicked to see what Blogger's new interface would be like. Hoho... Very clean, very neat, very white and dare I say, futuristic.

Am I allowed to throw some colour to my dashboard? It's so clean...it's not..right :P Then again I like the expanded writing area. No more being confined to that small box (I know it's resizable, but hey! Here's a great white space to scribble on. Isn't that more tempting?).

Still in the midst of finding another job so I can escape from my current job. He puts it as "desperate" to exit from Bz. I put it as "desperate to not work inhumane hours again". And it's just not inhumane hours, it's inhumane hours alone. Probably 6-7 days a week, 12 hours a day. Manning that small booth being paid on an hourly basis which is barely enough to cover the cost of a meal. Is that worth my time? No, not really.

Whenever I go ranting on this subject, he goes quiet. Either preferring not to argue or he's exhausted on countering that one time I temporarily quit because "senior" part-time employees get more. My ass. Ooh that still gets me riled up. All the more reason I should go, eh? :P

Most businesses pay peanuts for simple jobs because the mindset is "it's a simple task, so anyone can do it". Sigh yes, anyone can do it. But it hurts most when you're doing that for a living. There's a growing gap between living and surviving. How far can RM50 take you nowadays? One week if I'm lucky.

No, after a year and a half of uni, I'm quite tired of doing stuff on my own. It is a good thing being independent and able to execute whatever you lay your hands on, but unless I'm able to clone myself, I don't want to do so much of it anymore. I raised the white flag for my IFTP paperwork and rescue came. Ah...sometimes it's just so nice to have someone to lean on..

I think they have a name for that, "refusing help" might be it. But no ah...I don't refuse help, I only ask when necessary. Hehehe. Okay I went off on a tangent.

I want to work somewhere surrounded by people, half of them aren't customers. Someone to flag down to help if needed. Having someone to chat with wouldn't be so bad either. Maybe I'll go back into F&B. Sure, the pay's low (compared to retail) but at least there's shifts and you can't man the entire thing alone. That, is a huge difference. And I think that difference would make a happier me. Looking back, that was probably one of the reasons I loved working at BR :)

Hunt, hunt ;)

Ohyahor...

I did not officially announced that the semester has ended (have been on holiday since 10.01am on 14th November hehe). So!

• CWFM Opinion Piece (20%) - 25th August 2011
• PR2 Media Writing (20%) - 26th August 2011
• Raya Break (29th Aug - 4 Sept)
• IFTP Script and TV Production (15%) - 9th September 2011
• Media Law Question Solving (35%) - 26th September 2011
• CWFM Obituary/Profile (30%) - 26 September 2011
• IFTP Flash Animatic (35%) - 7th October 2011
• PR2 Report (35%) - 14th October 2011
• Media Law Presentations (15%) - 17th October 2011
• Deepavali Break (24th Oct - 30th Oct)
• CWFM Feature Story (50%) - 7th November 2011
• IFTP Final Video Production (50%) - 11th November 2011
• PR2 Portfolio (45%) - 11th November 2011
• Media Law Exam (50%) - 14th November 2011

*screampullhairyellscreamsomemoreshoutyellfallonkneesinhale* 

Yah, I'm done with Public Relations 2, Intro to Film and TV Production, Media Law and Creative Writing. Lalalala :D I think I'm almost back to normal hehe, enough sleep and all. AND to celebrate (and cuz I'm feeling the Christmas-y spirit after visiting malls) here's my tribute to Christmas weeeeeee. 

I laikes! 

During and After Semester face

The next person who says an assignment-based course is easier compared to the usual course with final exams is going to get stabbed. I see the same face everyday in the mirror but it's evident to some people. I am still very tired...how long to recover I'm not sure.

Only human

Finally done with all the filming, just ended Eunice's one today. For hers, she trusted me to ensure that her shots were good, and I tried I did. Though sometimes I forgot to lock the exposure. I was obsessed with getting the focus right.

When given that trust, you would want to give your best, wouldn't you?

So imagine my shock and horror upon viewing back my own videos to find that most of my videos were blur/out of focus. Was quite upset considering Adam insisted on handling the camera and I trusted him to do his best.

The bitter part of me wanted to heap the blame on him entirely; to point fingers just to blame someone.

But..

I knew he could not be responsible entirely, as the lighting conditions were not excellent and the small screen made it hard to be certain. Still, I was pretty miffed about the whole focus thing.

Sigh...

To shoot outdoors was challenging, given that nature's lighting cannot be controlled. And...to think that gathering my cast was difficult enough, to the point of hair-pulling.

Over dinner I glumly swallowed, still wanting to blame but allowing myself to stew instead. Would it had been better if I insisted on viewing every shot? Would handling the camera on my own made the shots clearer?

It sucked.

Then I remembered that customer I met during work that told me that as humans were imperfect, no matter what the circumstances. Perfect pieces of kitchenware don't give off that same feel. That did make me feel marginally better. In the beginning I did not take control of the camera and there were blurry shots, but towards the middle and ending I took control, the focus was better.

Only human. And since it was my first time with the DSLR, some mistakes were bound to be done. I sigh, but putting my glum feelings aside, I searched for tips on sharpening videos. One said those fancy HD videos you view on TVs in stores are extensively edited. No doubt they were shot with much care.

However...I did agree with the point that said what was shown appears to be artificial; nothing looks like that in real life. Too sharp, colours to bright and just...unbelievable.

Which is exactly what is was.

So after dinner I look through my shots again. I realised Taylors does really have a nice background for shooting and the slight out of focus gave the videos a sort-of dreamy feel. Much more realistic..than razor sharp images.

It's just an assignment, after all. Though I did want clear videos to edit and submit. But, ah well. Make do with  what I have.

I don't have perfect videos. I can't make serious videos and the spontaneity of my storyline shows that. So...

I'll just swallow it for tonight and cut them up tomorrow. The dreamy effect might just work to my advantage. It just wasn't what I hoped it would be. Heh, considering all the trouble this assignment caused and it worth 50%, do what I gotta do.

Move on and get on with it.
Just hope BB7 goes back online tonight. I want to submit my essay and sleep tonight.
La dee dum dum.
200 words to go plus 200 words for reflection.
Hey, ho.

Inhale...

Do not, do not, do not, do not be baited.

Eeeyerrrrrr *pulls hair*

Oh this is stupid.

200th

"Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances. 


Wait for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweat and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. 


Most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong." 
~Unknown

"Life is the ability to feel so happy, you think your insides are going to explode. It’s being so upset or disappointed, you feel as if your stomach just dropped ten feet out of place. It’s running so hard, you can barely breathe. 


It’s the feeling of panic when you know you’ve been caught doing something wrong. It’s having that sudden rush before you kiss someone you care about. It’s opening your eyes and feeling them sting because you spent the whole night crying. 


It’s letting people go because new ones come in, and all the while realizing that life doesn’t have a purpose unless you let it." 
~Unknown

"No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater...The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot."
~Sarah Dessen

"You know, the right guy won’t get you to change. He won’t subtly pressure you. He won’t tell you who you can and can’t talk to. He won’t hide the fact that you’re hanging out. He’s not gonna tell you you’re wrong for feeling; for being a girl. 


The right guy will show you off to his friends. He’ll take it as slow as you want. He’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable with. He’ll take you out to places, even if it’s just a fast food place or the store. He’ll actually sit through your stupid, girly movies with you because he just wants to be with you. 


The right guy will come along someday, you just gotta tough it out and wait for him. But whatever you do, don’t settle for the wrong guy. You deserve so much more."
~Unknown

"A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, the one you can tell your dreams to. He'll smile at you, but he'll never laugh at your heart. He'll brush the hair out of your eyes. 


Send you flowers when you least expect it. He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $8 to see it. He'll call to say goodnight or just cause he is thinking of you. 


He'll look in your eyes and tell you, you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and for the first time in your life, you'll believe it." 
~Unknown

"In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
~Diablo Cody

Obeying the stop sign

I thought I could end the sem without falling sick, but I guess a month of chasing deadlines week after week was too much.

Here's to a day of forced rest (hur hur), Deepavali break next week and the last 4 of Round 3.

I need it.

• CWFM Opinion Piece (20%) - 25th August 2011
• PR2 Media Writing (20%) - 26th August 2011
• Raya Break (29th Aug - 4 Sept)
• IFTP Script and TV Production (15%) - 9th September 2011
• Media Law Question Solving (35%) - 26th September 2011
• CWFM Obituary/Profile (30%) - 26 September 2011
• IFTP Flash Animatic (35%) - 7th October 2011
• PR2 Report (35%) - 14th October 2011
• Media Law Presentations (15%) - 17th October 2011
• Deepavali Break (24th Oct - 30th Oct)
• CWFM Feature Story (50%) - 7th November 2011
• IFTP Final Video Production (50%) - 11th November 2011
• PR2 Portfolio (45%) - 11th November 2011
• Media Law Exam (50%) - 14th November 2011

A man can kill and still be the sweetest thing

I think I'm due for a new blog template. No inspirasi to blog dah.

xx.

Fear comes with the lack of understanding.

I hope I get through then. 

If you could only just stop, stop, stop running

If you could only take a second to breathe it in
Everything that you know would be beautiful
Like you

You know they're never gonna stop, stop, stop your love
Let's pretend that the world is waking up
Everything that we see is beautiful
Like you...

Sometimes it's hard to be yourself in this crazy world
Sometimes it's hard to breathe

xx.

Pee what?

 I get the PR lectures, but I don't get the assignments. How ah? One week to start on a report that I have no idea how to start on. Ha..ha..ha..

2 more for the month of October. Then the last 2 weeks will be spent planning, planning, planning for the last 4. Tomorrow I research more and unwind. After that long week of doing Flash Animatics, the kick for doing work is not back yet.

Baaaa.

• CWFM Opinion Piece (20%) - 25th August 2011
• PR2 Media Writing (20%) - 26th August 2011
• Raya Break (29th Aug - 4 Sept)
• IFTP Script and TV Production (15%) - 9th September 2011
• Media Law Question Solving (35%) - 26th September 2011
• CWFM Obituary/Profile (30%) - 26 September 2011
• IFTP Flash Animatic (35%) - 7th October 2011
• PR2 Report (35%) - 14th October 2011
• Media Law Presentations (15%) - 17th October 2011
• Deepavali Break (24th Oct - 30th Oct)
• CWFM Feature Story (50%) - 7th November 2011
• IFTP Final Video Production (50%) - 11th November 2011
• PR2 Portfolio (45%) - 11th November 2011
• Media Law Exam (50%) - 14th November 2011

Who's that?

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

 It's the Big Bad Book SALE! :D and his incriminating pawprints

Friday morning I rushed off to uni, sat impatiently through IFTP lecture and ran to perform the final rituals (haha) for my Flash assignment. Running on 5 hours of sleep, I was quite jittery and many thanks to Adam who's calm and composed as always :P

We handed ours up and went off in different directions. Him to the airport and me home. Hopping up and down at the prospect of the upcoming roadtrip to Serdang for the book sale :D :D :D

Filled with lunch, armed with emergency food and 2 GPSes, off we went :D It was quite an adventure hahah. Took some wrong turns, but we reached there within an hour.

Lucas told me earlier that books were at a range of RM8 to RM25 and I went mad. Dragged CT from table to table hopping as we surveyed the piles of books :P 

I came home with 4:

 My haul: Heart Shaped Box, Joe Hill

Eldest, Christopher Paolini

Mistress of the Game, Tilly Bagshawe

Brisingr, Christopher Paolini all RM8 each!

 I picked up and put down this book two times cuz I couldn't make up my mind :P

Either I settled for a chic lit (again) or tried something way out of my zone..

 Tell me you're not intrigued..

 RM8! I love the Eragon series :) Book beats movie!

 I squealed when I stumbled upon this. I have been wanting to get this but at a lower price. RM8 and hardcover is as low as it gets. Not in fantastic condition, but it doesn't matter much :)

 The icing on the cake was THIS.
RM8 hardcover for DELUXE EDITION of BRISINGR.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

:D

In the end I settled for 4 cuz I had a limited budget and it ensured I came home with ones that I really wanted (which I did). Each time I picked up an interesting book I let out a wistful sigh, read the synopsis and put it back down. 

CT had the time of his life teasing me with "Are you sureeeeeee >:D" each time I put down another. That fellow is evil.. Nevermind I get to steal his books too! His pile of 4 came up to the spine width of Brisingr and Eldest :P

The whole 4 hours we were there I kept out an eye for Lucas but didn't see him until we reached the head of the checkout queue. He was busy helping customers with tons of books with trolley. By the time we paid and headed out, we waited for awhile for him to come back in. And come in he did, quite surprised to see us haha.

CT asked him to help us carry our load and Lucas gave him the finger haha. So this is how you treat your customers eh :P Talked a bit and he had to go, saying he'd see us again in 2 weeks. Though the money's good for the fair, he works an insane 7 days, more than 12 hours a week. Ouch. 

I so want to go again this week if I can aaaaaahhhhhh. Money can fall from sky pls? Also can I teleport there? Nyaaaaahhhhhhh. I know these 4 will join my waiting-to-be-read list after my classics :P

I wanna go againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

720 hours

Hello. I've been missing for awhile, yeah.

Three assignments (only!) handed up and it's been a month and a half. It only hit me when Jasmine exclaimed we were halfway through the semester already. Yikes. Time flies.

Time flies :) I appreciate you being around when I need you and though talking may not always lift me from my funks, I appreciate it. I really do :)

Next Monday I have 2 assignments due, Media Law question paper and Creative Writing Profile piece. Today I combed the library of its textbooks I deemed suitable and spent the rest of the day carrying them around, haha. Research is definitely continuing. The tangled web it weaves is really fascinating, and I look forward to learning and reading more.

Creative Writing is a bit of headache. My interviewee has gone AWOL and I'm on the verge of giving up. I do not have the time to haunt you everyday to email back my questions. I really do not. So I'm moving on to Plan B. Should be in time for a nice birthday present :)

Now to think of a setting and a view to focus on.

• Media Law Presentations (15%) - 15th August onwards
• CWFM Opinion Piece (20%) - 25th August 2011
• PR2 Media Writing (20%) - 26th August 2011
• Raya Break (29th Aug - 4 Sept)
• IFTP Script and TV Production (15%) - 9th September 2011
• Media Law Question Solving (35%) - 26th September 2011
• CWFM Obituary/Profile (30%) - 26 September 2011
• IFTP Flash Animatic (35%) - 7th October 2011
• PR2 Report (35%) - 14th October 2011
• Deepavali Break (24th Oct - 30th Oct)
• CWFM Feature Story (50%) - 7th November 2011
• IFTP Final Video Production (50%) - 11th November 2011
• PR2 Portfolio (45%) - 11th November 2011
• Media Law Exam (50%) - 14th November 2011

It's funny and a bit sad at the same time how our schedules clash. I'm free after this date and you won't be :P But priorities are priorities and they come first. We'll find all the loopholes and jump through them ;)

Late again

Worry somemore la you.

Come on, come on, don’t hesitate and grab my hand

Through the forest of buildings in the sky, I will fly

Everything you believe is reality

Scattered beneath your feet are hundreds of millions of stars

Sneak

I don't like this weird feeling. It had better be a figment of my imagination. I know there was nothing said, but..but..

Sneak :P

What was said mostly I know, anyway..

Stupid "but"

*tendang*

---

Since entering Uni, I don't seem to keep in touch with a lot of people anymore =/ At first it amounted to the insane workload, it was understandable. But slowly it turned into a habit. I shut off MSN, Skype and the lot but don't bother to turn them back on.

Ah bugger. No one wants to talk to me anymoreeeeeeeee. Also I'm turning back into the recluse pre-Zhi era. How leh?

Work ah work ah.

Sometimes this course feels like death. 2 more studying semesters. That is it. End of it all. Then comes internship and I'll be...

Somewhere.

IFTP, Creative Writing, PR2 and Media Law make a pretty lethal combination sigh. Emoooooo.

In need of a good kick

I'm tired of being tired. Can't wait for this week to end.

xx.

The fear of not being good enough

4 weeks into the semester and I'm still left reeling from the blow. This sem is tough in the sense of expectations. Lecturers outline expectations every class and repeatedly tell us how to score. Add that to daily brain squeezes for ideas on what and how to do my assignments.

I don't know. And that's where the doubts set in.

Should I have taken a course with exams? No, is always the answer and I know I'll hate it if I did take that direction.To me, exams are just how well your memory works. Done and dusted with my diploma, which sometimes I look back and wonder if I do deserve it.

No, learning is much more than exams. Which is why I chose this course.

They say be careful of what you wish for. I got more than I bargained for. This is not a complaint, it's more frustration mixed with pressure and overall leaves me feeling empty. Some days I'll go "Oooooh I hate this course!!!666" but some days I love it. I love the challenge of taking something on.

I just finished reading the sample pieces of Creative Writing that my lecturer posted up. Beautifully articulated, I suppose that is more or less the standard expected for a HD. *bangs head* No, I'm not that good, but I don't want to be just average either.

My opinion piece still needs some weeding through, sigh. It's due on Thursday. 3 media releases are due on Friday. Some storyboard frames and script are due Friday. I really, really need to get my head back on track. I guess my heart's just not that in it this sem. Please come back soooooon.

Pressure ohhhh the pressure. Some days I want to hide under blankets and hide away from the world. But that won't help much, will it. Only temporarily.. More than often I find myself staring into space wondering what to do and how to do. I really really need to kick into gear. I cannot run away anymore. If I have to work late nights again, so be it.

End of this week: hand up a satisfactory Opinion Piece, 3 media releases and IFTP work.

Weeps. Don't get me started on law.

It rained last night

:)

Do you believe in magic?

Here we go again:

• Media Law Presentations (15%) - 15th August onwards
• CWFM Opinion Piece (20%) - 25th August 2011
• PR2 Media Writing (20%) - 26th August 2011
• Raya Break (29th Aug - 4 Sept)
• IFTP Script and TV Production (15%) - 9th September 2011
• Media Law Question Solving (35%) - 26th September 2011
• CWFM Obituary/Profile (30%) - 26 September 2011
• IFTP Flash Animatic (35%) - 7th October 2011
• PR2 Report (35%) - 14th October 2011
• Deepavali Break (24th Oct - 30th Oct)
• CWFM Feature Story (50%) - 7th November 2011
• IFTP Final Video Production (50%) - 11th November 2011
• PR2 Portfolio (45%) - 11th November 2011
• Media Law Exam (50%) - 14th November 2011

Bzzt

Dumbest thing: I signed into my blog account using the wrong gmail address. My heart stopped for awhile when I saw "You do not have a blog yet. Click here to create one!" Shit haha.

IneedsleepT__T.

Anyway.

Clicking on the Gizmodo link about Blackberrys reminded me about what we used to talk about day and night and practically every time I kecoh-ed you online (before food now om nom nom).

Gadgets.

It has dwindled to some time or another such as maybe, during HTC's latest release. But I remember (now) that I lived, breathed and drooled over every single picture I could google of my current phone now hehe. Andddd also debated to the other end of the earth and back again about it.

---

I suppose, to a certain extent, that it is normal to take on the other's person interest or at least to be aware of it.

For example, now I am very aware of all the car brands on the road haha T_T. I was never bothered before. My knowledge and identification has broadened considerably, much thanks to listening to Chun Tat and Boon Yen's conversations (hehe).

Also, I guess, you'd want to know more about to find out why said person's so interested in it. Which was why on Monday when the bunch of us were hanging around Popular to pass our ridiculous 5 hour break and I simply had to find a place to sit. So happened that the only place available was covered by a car magazine.

I picked it up, sat down and flipped through it to look at pictures. Adam passed by and laughed when he saw what I held in my hands. "That is so unlike you!"

:)

It is to that point of a person's obsession that a glance or a few notes can identify the person's item of interest. Pig can glance at a vehicle a fraction of second and the name tumbles out. *blink blink*

Like when I dragged him towards Speedy Video with a huge grin to get a better earful of a melody that my ears picked up. A few seconds later he got it, hahaha. Beast oh Beast, and he gave me a "you ah" face.

Few days ago, he told me he was listening to Kpop and I was pleasantly surprised that he chose it over his usual variety. So I wasn't the only one to take an interest out of my bubble.

The thing is, we don't force each other into our respective interests. The way he talks about it; the animation in his gestures and tone of voice indicates. The want to find out more is there :)

---

Another night, another 2am. I still have no idea how I am to get to Jing's tomorrow :P

Uni Week 1 has passed, and even though I mentally prepared myself I am still overwhelmed by the workload.  It eez all possible nyah, that will be another post for another day.

Good night/morning all :D

Mr. Simple

Okay.

I was initially horrified when their album pictures surfaced.

Go ahead, cringe.

Although SJ-M should have given me an inkling of how their theme was going to be like i.e. Russian Circus. Honestly did not expect more of the clownishness. More so when Mr. Simple was released. Kind souls translated the lyrics and I could only stare in disbelief.

Whaaaaaat...

Prejudiced yes, it wholly reminded me of an Indian jingling tune and it got stuck into my head, fast. No doubt designed to do just that, I was bit disappointed and complained to pig at length that night (hahaha I'm sorry :P).

The first two songs of the album turned me off further, but I continued clicking play on the links allkpop provided. Something of the old them had to be there despite calling this album an effort of their unique colours righttttt :(

Luckily the album's tempo slowed down after the first two songs. I loved 'Y'. I love 'Y'. I love 'Y'. I think you get the point.

Fresh off the Korean servers, the MV was released. Then I was reminded of how their choreography is the thing that makes Super Junior, Super Junior.

Perhaps seeing YeSung, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun softened my prejudices. Ahh first loves... Choreography is what makes them and it did not disappoint. Glad to say that even machines can't level out Ryeowook's voice. In the crowd of 10, he instantly stands out.

Choreography better off this time, the lead single takes some listens to get used to. It's bothersome after awhile. The eyes have to have a share of the pounding beats to make it pleasant.

Yalah Mr. Simple, kenapa nak naughty naughty huh?? The choreography saved you. YAY Super Junior is backkk but your outfits are so darn horrific that BEAST stays my wallpaper.

Amen.

pokesqueezehugs

The past few months have been good :)

Haven't been here much, because partly I'm living life in my head and have written too much for the past semester. Nothing major during the sem break, except falling for a mad pig.

Teehee.
Butterflies :)

Addicted to Addiction

That's a new one.

Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it.

Urghhhh. I can't remain in limbo. But then again.. :( I don't know either..

Addiction

It's night time. And that uneasy feeling comes again. Am I starting to doubt this? Should I stop giving without expecting anything in return?

Meh.

Only one way to find out.
Show me that those just aren't words you speak and that you mean them.
Please.

Addiction, remixed.

In the belly of the beast.

They are awesomeeee. Good enough to cure me of Glitter Fever :D
Jap ver vs Kor ver.

An enormous grin of all sorts

• 26th March: Advertising - Out of home Advertising project
• 28th March: Int Media Comm - Discussion paper 
• 1st April: Broadcasting - Broadcasting writing
• 8th April: Music Sound Studio - Short ambiance soundscape
• 15th April: Advertising - Minor essay
• 6th May: Broadcasting - Compiling a broadcast story
• 20th May: Broadcasting - Television writing
• 20th May: Music Sound Studio - Music Journals
• 27th May: Int Media Comm - Media quiz
• 10th June: Advertising - Major essay
• 10th June: Broadcasting - Broadcast media journal
• 10th June: Music Sound Studio - Sound documentary
• 13th June: Int Media Comm - Research media commentary

BOOYAH! :D :D :D
Oh my, I made it through..

Are you happy now?

I hope you are. After giving in, you still give me and the others that look, I hope you are. Don't you dare call us uncooperative.

Now to finish my fucking IMC draft, POB quiz questions and pack for the stupid Penang trip. Sick and unable to sleep early. Get more rest my foot.

Why bother pleasing people? The world is simpler when you only have yourself to please.

Wheeee!

:D

All that mad studying paid off! :D Got a D for the IMC quiz wheeeeeeeeeee! Despite it being open book, there were a lot of Cs on the result list. Yes, veli veli thankful. There is hope for my IMC :)

Okay, okay, pull yourself and head together. This. is. the. final. four. assignments :) 

*loads chrome shotgun* Mwahaha :P

• 26th March: Advertising - Out of home Advertising project
• 28th March: Int Media Comm - Discussion paper 
• 1st April: Broadcasting - Broadcasting writing
• 8th April: Music Sound Studio - Short ambiance soundscape
• 15th April: Advertising - Minor essay
• 6th May: Broadcasting - Compiling a broadcast story
• 20th May: Broadcasting - Television writing
• 20th May: Music Sound Studio - Music Journals
• 27th May: Int Media Comm - Media quiz
• 10th June: Advertising - Major essay
• 10th June: Broadcasting - Broadcast media journal
• 10th June: Music Sound Studio - Sound documentary
• 13th June: Int Media Comm - Research media commentary

I'm just a girl with a crush on you

If only I could trade the fancy cars
For a chance today, it's incomparable.
I might be sitting with the movie stars
Everybody say that I have it all.

But I can't make you love me.
I'm just a girl with a crush on you.

Lollipop

• 26th March: Advertising - Out of home Advertising project
• 28th March: Int Media Comm - Discussion paper 
• 1st April: Broadcasting - Broadcasting writing
• 8th April: Music Sound Studio - Short ambiance soundscape
• 15th April: Advertising - Minor essay
• 6th May: Broadcasting - Compiling a broadcast story
• 20th May: Broadcasting - Television writing
• 20th May: Music Sound Studio - Music Journals
• 27th May: Int Media Comm - Media quiz
• 10th June: Advertising - Major essay
• 10th June: Broadcasting - Broadcast media journal
• 10th June: Music Sound Studio - Sound documentary
• 13th June: Int Media Comm - Research media commentary

8 down, 5 to go. 

Today wouldn't be that bad if not for the last minute changes -.- Did changes and leftover work from 12 to 5pm baaaaa. Torchure. 

Marafuku.

10th June is a date to watch out for. =/

IMC Quiz, 40%, Advertising major essay 50%, POB Media Journal 35%, MSS Documentary 50% and IMC Analysis 45%.

Om nom nom. 

My gang of three appointed me Producer (group leader) for the MSS Documentary. Will be writing the script, too. Their argument is that I have the best command of the language among them. Hmm. I should be flattered but that decision was made when I went to the restroom, hahaha.

I'm taking the weekend off! Then back to work late Sunday. Woot woot. 

Sleeeeeeeeeeep.

I would try to get through

It would be unrealistic to say I won't be stressed, but, every end of the day gets better with you around :)

I promise I won't flesh-eat :P
Asalkan janji you tak bawak siham balik.

Wesak tak sesak

6 hours of release from house arrest. I was going to say that I'm tired, but I remembered I wore heels (albeit wedges) for all those 6 (probably more) hours.

Yinyee you (silly fool) genius!

Fearfully sleepy, but I must gird my loins and finish up this music journal. Hei ho, here we go.

[edit 11.55pm]

After this week...I have the IMC quiz, and the final four assignments of the semester. And just like that, it's over and done with. I really, really want to do well for this sem and hand up work I'm satisfied with.

Feels so difficult at times and I get demotivated, but I will do it. Next semester won't be any easier; Public Relations 2, Media Law, Intro to TV and Film Production and Creative Writing. Can't imagine how that will be, but that's in the 2nd half of 2011.

Even now there's the fear that I won't be able to hand up POB A3, MSS A2 and present my IMC proposal this Friday. As of tonight, I have a draft of POB A3, 12/18 music journals done and IMC proposal half done.

Uuuuuuhhhh.

Possible, possible, possible. But still unable to quench that fear..

Okay, get another 3 journals done tmrw, read through POB draft, and shape the IMC proposal further..

*rubs eyes* Good night.

Commercial break

:D

I'm pretty sure this photo has been manipulated..

Excuses to not start on my next journal :P Haha I'm still giggly.

"You shoo and zhar me at the same time...What is this?!"
"Double kill :D"

It continued from there :D

Ahh pffft

Please tell me this is just a weekend funk.

I really, really, really do not feel like doing work.

Boooo..

You say good morning, when it's midnight.

I'm so used to having a to-do list, I feel very sesat without one. So, Week 9:

• Broadcasting presentation done.

This was a string of luck :) From finding a parking in the basement (Yinyee 1, Hot Sun 0) to lecturer being in a good mood as opposed to being his usual PMS-y self. Breathes sigh of relief. 

Lecturer liked my choice of broadcast program too. Can use that as an example for A3. Plus that tutorial had more laughs than usual :) 

• Broadcasting A3: Television news writing

Get a draft done by this weekend. Boleh buat punya. 

• MSS Music Journals

Get 3/4 done by the end of this week. No more delaying. Lots to record and recordings to arrange. Do as much as possible by the end of this week to prevent unnecessary stress next week!

• Finish researching IMC A3 topics, sift through articles and settle on one. Prepare short presentation next week.
• Continue studying for IMC quiz. Print leftover articles/readings.
• Narrow down options for Advertising major essay.

Raised my blood pressure for nuts. Went to see my lecturer yesterday to see my last paper. 26/35, which roughly calculates to 74.3, 0.7 from a Distinction. I went screaming outside the staff room afterwards. 

I didn't ask for a pity mark, since he said the assignments were not cumulative. Should I have done so for self-gratification? Hurh.. Thought of using that to fuel the major essay. Roarrrrrr. But good effect despite being sick *pats self on back* Could have done better; lost 4 marks from itty bitty careless mistakes. Must not repeat those the next time around. 

Nyom....still feeling jittery from the coffee I had this morning... Must do as much as possible by the end of this week and start on the final round of assignments. Early preparation is invaluable. 

Despite the nap earlier, still feeling very blur *grumbles*

I wanna share your horizon

And see the same sun rising

- - - 

You were hurt, but I decided that you were worth the fight

I know it's not your fault, but I'm a locked door

Every night you lock up, you won't let me come inside

And inside I'm a mess by someone before

But the look in your eyes, says that I could turn the tide

And I wish that I could find a key to unlock all the things that you want us to be

In your heart, I can tell you can fit one more 

Let me open up and start again

I don't care who was there before

I don't know how to let you in

Don't disturb is all I see

That's what keeps us apart

If loneliness would move out, I'd fill the vacancy

And that's why I need time

In your heart

I said I need you

In your heart

I need you to understand

Got a jetpack with your name on it

Here we go, come with me

There's a world out there that we should see.

Take my hand, close your eyes

With you right here, I'm a rocketeer.

Let's...fly.

 - - -  

Maybe it's the routines that are getting stagnant.

Maybe it's because I'm still tired.

Maybe it's because....

Maybe it's....

Maybe....

Where we stop nobody knows. 

Why should they?

My sunshine

- - -

What Do Pigs Eat?

• Pigs will eat almost anything you give them, as long as it is vegetables, fruits or breadstuffs.
• A pig has a single stomach
• Pigs need food that is high in energy and low in fiber.

Teeheeheehee!

Oh, we got a little world of our own

I'll tell you things that no one else knows. 

Friday. End of Week 8.
How now brown cow?
Scrub scrub pobpob, strangle some international news for IMC, grab a half-priced frap from Starbucks, head home and.. start work again?

Lol.

Pobpob A3 and music journals over the next week, okie?
Read up for Media Quiz okie?
Settle on topic for IMC A3 okie?
Write AIIA A2 points and start thinking of A3 question okie?
Find the other 9 news articles for Pobpob A5 okie?

Remember to sleep, okie?

Nites all.

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??????
WHY DOES THIS NEED TO BE SO #&@#^&!!& COMPLICATED?????????
HOW TO WRITE LIKE THAT????????
REDO LAHHHHHH.
DIE LOR. CANNOT DO MAJOR ESSAY LIKE THAT.
WTFZOMGBBQFTSFTSFTSFTSFTSFTSFTS.

*inhale*

TELL ME WHAT'S THE POINT OF AN ASSIGNMENT BRIEF IF YOU'RE GOING TO CHANGE IT AS YOU LIKE????????

WHY LA WHY LA WHY LA W-WTF-HY LA!

ZOMG I WANT TO GO /WRIST NOW.

Nobody but you

Once we had it all for the takin'
Love was just me and you
You'd better think twice
About the plans that you're makin'
Splittin' one world in two

No no no no
I don't need nobody
Anyone to take your place but you
No no no no
I just couldn't fall for anyone new
Nobody but you

Splrgh

Hello Week 8.

Roughly 6 weeks more to the end of the semester. Damn fast lor... My May schedule looks empty, but don't be fooled; the empty spaces are for the final assignments.

I wonder how to do the remain pieces simultaneously *scratches head* I need a strict timetable. A strict strict strict timetable. No play play already x.X.

• 26th March: Advertising - Out of home Advertising project
• 28th March: Int Media Comm - Discussion paper 
• 1st April: Broadcasting - Broadcasting writing
• 8th April: Music Sound Studio - Short ambiance soundscape
• 15th April: Advertising - Minor essay
• 6th May: Broadcasting - Compiling a broadcast story
• 20th May: Broadcasting - Television writing
• 20th May: Music Sound Studio - Music Journals
• 23rd May: Int Media Comm - Media quiz
• 10th June: Advertising - Major essay
• 10th June: Broadcasting - Broadcast media journal
• 10th June: Music Sound Studio - Sound documentary
• 13th June: Int Media Comm - Research media commentary

No play play :(

I'm 95% done with POB A2, just needs its usual polishing then print + hand up. I definitely have to start on POB A3 and continue with MSS Music Journals. Possible to do more than half by the end of this week..

Study printouts for Media Quiz, and then..start on the final four.

Feeling the pressure already..

It all started with a BANG!

Spent the day with MG :)

Old friends are the best kind, ya know? Old jokes, memories, and insults get pulled out during fights :P Though it was just the five of us plus one newcomer, it was great.

You instantly slip back into warm fuzziness and security, and this ain't an easy feeling to acquire. Yea yea, familiarity breeds contempt, but absence makes the heart grow fonder and I really did miss them :)

Nothing beats being having your name yelled from a distance and pounced on the moment they get close :)

I got to Worm's place around 11am, and only left at 6pm. Time really flew today, but we managed to squeeze in some L4D rounds and 7 games of Bang! :D

Not sure what happens once Jing leaves for US (sigh), Xuan to Australia (sigh) and Worm to UK (sigh sigh sigh). But we'll meet again in June/July :) We always do, just like our annual Labour Day gathering, hee.

I wonder how many people meet in tuition and keep in touch and still meet regularly like us; we're one of the lucky ones. 6 years down the road now, here's to more :)

Faith, Love, Hope

You say your faith is shaken, and you may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and waiting for the sun.
I'm desperate and confused, so far away from you
I'm getting there, I don't care where I have roam.

I need a talk with you.
Because the listener wants to be listened to, too.

Yeah, so this is goodbye

I do think everything has a limit. Come to think of it, after I stopped caring I felt so much better. I had finally snapped, had enough. Negativity is something I do not accept. It is the energy vampire of the worst kind.

People change and grow, it's inevitable despite how we think we don't. I believe that your personality and attitude shapes in one direction and continues developing that way once you hit your twenties.

Different exposure, different cultures, different thinking mindsets.

Not to say that you can't change yourself, but it takes more effort. You can teach an old dog new tricks, it just takes longer.

Maybe in future our paths will cross again, but for now I think we have come to that fork in the road.

Yeah, so this is goodbye.

4.41pm

I give up on giving you up.

Cannot :D
Cannotnotnot :D

Perhaps I'll let that maybe in my heart grow into a yes.
Doubtful. Addictive. Exciting. Dangerous. Doesn't fail to bring a grin to my face.

Oh, foreign territory.

*blank*

I guess there haven't been any conversations lately.

Last week has been reading, reading, reading and this week I've started on assignments again. Found a news story to analyze for POB A5, and found myself interested in the beginnings of US's 2012 election cycle. This will be one to watch for ;)

Yesterday I

• Stuffed myself with pizza
• Watched Limitless
• Had popcorn
• Drove around The Strand, KD
• Found the most delectable ice cream, ever (well, in my last 20 years, that is) with CT. 

Pretty good day overall :D Ended with rain to cool the day off. CT had epic lemon sorbet. He will be dreaming of that for years to come, hahaha. For someone who loves sour stuff like me, a tiny taste hurt my tongue. He tried it and found it hard to talk until we reached the car :P

Nyum nyum ice cream. Texture was very smooth and creamy, with no fatty aftertaste. I chose Passionfruit and he got Belgian Chocolate. No pics, cuz they're in boring styrofoam cups :P But here's some from Nikonian Academy:

:D 

It doesn't look much, to be honest, but that's until you taste it.

Jay (the manager/owner I'm guessing) let us taste almost all the flavours they had: Belgian Chocolate, Banana, Strawberry Sorbet, Green Tea, Durian, Mixed Nuts, Raspberry Sorbet, Passionfruit Sorbet, Chocolate with Hazelnuts, epic Lemon Sorbet and oh I know there's much more but I can't remember!

It costs RM6.60 per scoop, and I rather pay that amount than go to Baskin Robbins or Haagen Daaz :P I am a big fan of sorbets, partly because I found normal ice cream too creamy for comfort and partly because they have a tinge of...sourness. 

But the ice creams I tried at Premium Buckets were neither too creamy or had a thick texture. I didn't fancy the flavour, but melted nicely on my tongue :) Flavours like Belgian Chocolate are usually very 'gao' and leave you gagging for water after a scoop, but this one was just right. Sure, you still get the 'gao' feeling but not so quickly.

Sorbets, oh sorbets. Jay pointed out that other sorbets are usually a mixture of ice and cordial. So the first thing you see and taste (or scoop. Those who have scooped the sorbets at BR can testify :P Hard) is ice. Then comes the flavour. I fell in love with the passionfruit because of the real flavour and just right creaminess. There was no icey crunch and artificial flavour :) 

My tub did melt a bit on the way back and I popped it in the freezer first thing I got home. At midnight when I took it out, the melted edges were icey (understandable) but the rest remain soft and no extra energy was exerted to scoop it. 

Yummy? Oh yes. Definitely will go again :)

I overheard Jay say to one of the staff that they do deliver to 7ate9.

"We specialize in producing ice creams and sorbets on a just in time (JIT) basis for hotels, restaurants and cafes (HORECA) and corporate/family events."


Curious, I went to have a look.

Ouch..

You know where it comes from now ;)

Who wants to go the next time?? :D